You Are NOT Welcomed Here.

Haughtiness made room and allowed a stranger to move in as my roommate. In the meantime, depression took over my mind, body and spirit and, I was bound to this new concept of life, as a people pleaser. Enslaved by denial, I had abandoned myself for the approval of others.

I held on to bits of happiness filled in moments, instead of living them. I
lived a lie with confidence and ownership. I was comfortable with depression replacing my wants, thoughts, needs and goals. While separating myself from good association and not having faith in myself.

Thinking back, I remember the many examples in front of me. Hearing friends and family share stories of their experiences from hurt, pain and the lessons of life. I didn't care to understand or to listen. I didn't heed the warnings. I bragged instead, because I knew my own strength.

I judged my friends and family who struggled with depression, anxiety and suicide because that was never going to be me. I didn't want to hear someone else express their emotional issues because I didn't want to take a look at mine.

Why couldn't I just listen? Why didn't I pay attention? Why was I so quick to dismiss?

I never thought suicide and depression would come at the expense of my happiness. I figured since I never experienced it that it did not apply to me. I didn't know that GOD had other plans. Why didn't I just pay attention? I took for granted the people who came before me. I hurt the ones close to me because I was too arrogant to see.

Sometimes people are put in your life for you to learn lessons, not necessarily live them. And all I had to do was listen? Instead I consumed the influences of trends to feed my mind temporary fillers; sex, drugs, alcohol, money, likes, follows, approval, status, partners, instant gratification and greed.

My friend, I beg you to heed the warnings and take notes. There will always be examples put in front for you, just pay attention.

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